Winning over a billion dollars. To an auto enthusiast that suddenly places you in the Leno/Glickenhas Jalop category. With that in mind, I began re-evaluating how I would resume my automotive passion:
1. Build a car shop/showroom/man cave
This is where I am going to spend most of my time when I am not attending F1 events or Chaka Khan concerts with the wife. It needs to be able to house multiple projects in various stages of progress. Machine shop, paint, lifts, CNC, detailing. I’m talking cradle to grave stuff.
The showroom is basically a big ass garage where I can enjoy all my cars at once. I’m thinking a garage/showroom/mancave hybrid where I can watch football, get up and walk past Lewis Hamilton’s 2008 MP4-23 to get some Doritos.
I would have multiple vehicles that would have actual completion dates in sight So I can get to the business of being an international gentleman of leisure. Here are some off the top of my head:
1966 Impala SS Convertible
My uncle had one of these and gave it to my grandmother. She drove it awhile and parked it when I was 14. Couldn’t wait to get my license and start driving. One day it was gone. A guy asks her to sell it to him. She says, “Sell it? If you can get it out of my driveway you can have it!” Damn.
1970 Plymouth SuperBird
This car started my automotive love affair. My dad was a Nabisco salesman (and a diehard Chrysler man) and got a new company car ever 2 years or 50k miles which means my dad was getting a new car every 12-15 months. It was my understanding Chrysler gave every dealership one car. We went into Bosak Chrysler/Dodge/Plymouth in Gary, IN to pick up his new company car and the dealership had two brand new SuperBirds their showroom.
A friend’s dad had a successful auto shop and his older brother bought one and painted it a different color every year. Gotta have one of those.
1956 Ford F100 Pickup
For my son. Born in Tulsa so the brother thinks he’s a cowboy. Nice resto with a 500-600hp Ford crate engine, basically a nice daily driver to carry all his football stuff.
1991 Jeep Grand Wagoneer -
Replace old carbed 360 V8 with a crate Hemi. My daily driver. I will get a Golden Retriever and I am an instant Ralph Laren ad.
For my daughter. We say she’s a tinker because she, well, likes to tinker. Loves the split bumper Camaros and little bitty dolls. Drop an E-Rod LS3 and updated everything so daughter #2 doesn’t get stranded.
2012 Maserati Quattroportte Sport GTS
Love the previous gen Quattroporttes. I dragged my wife into the Orlando Ferrari/Maserati dealership. She is not a car person but was immediately struck by a Bordeaux Qportte Executive GT. As she sits in it, the super-friendly sales consultant leans in the window and says, “It’s like sitting inside a fine ladies leather handbag isn’t it?” It really was and now she is hooked. I think the Sports GTS is the way to go and she probably won’t know the difference but I will...
For my other daughter (what can I say, my kids have excellent taste). Loves Janis Joplin and Cher. Just like my other daughter’s car, her hippie van with updated everything, because safety. Anybody ever heard of a VW Bus - Porsche 3.8l engine swap? Stay tuned.
Personal Luxury Coupe
OK, here is where the next level money comes into play so stay with me. I saw Buick’s concept coupe the other day and since it coincided with the Powerball super jackpot it got me thinking. Since there is no Lincoln Mark coupe I will commission (that’s what billionaires do instead of “getting guys to do stuff”) these guys at Carrozzia Touring http://www.touringsuperleggera.eu/en/home.php to build my own. Consider a Lincoln Mark coupe with emphasis on the cool-ass, pardon me, coach inspired doors on the Rolls. Oh hell yes.
1963 Lincoln Continental
Another daughter car. (Did I mention how great my kids are?) Saw one and loved it, doesn’t even know why. Drop in a Shelby GT500 engine with a Wipple supercharger. 750ponies in a Lincoln? Because Suicide Doors.
As we sat around the table discussing what we would do with a billion dollars, my 14yr old son had what I say is a true understanding of how a billion dollars can be a complete game changer. He asks, “I wonder if I could buy a small country and crown myself King?” Brilliant. I will pledge allegiance to my young Boy-King. He will appoint me Supreme Commander of his armed forces and I will defend 900Turboland with deez jets.
And don’t worry, massive amounts of money will not change who I am. Pity.